


The Past Has Passed

by Lemon_N_Lime



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America Winter, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Army, Bathing/Washing, Bathrooms, Bathtubs, Beds, Bubble Bath, Cooking, Depression, Early Mornings, Exhaustion, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hostage Situations, Lazy Mornings, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Military, Morning Cuddles, Morning Routines, Mornings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Recovered Memories, Sharing a Bed, Soldiers, Torture, War, remembering reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemon_N_Lime/pseuds/Lemon_N_Lime
Summary: You've lived with Bucky for two years. It's just the daily morning routine before the reader finds themself in the bathtub remembering their war tinted past.





	The Past Has Passed

The morning sunlight cast glowing golden rays through the white curtains and onto his sleeping face. You couldn't believe you were so blessed to have someone who loved you just the way you were. You couldn't believe that this person right in front of you loved every part of you inside and out, and you were so lucky to love them back. You traced his face with your graceful fingertips painting a watercolor of blending skin tones and shades of gold in your head. That would be today's task for you. You would spend all day with this amazing person and you would show them how much you love them. Plus you had your loved one as a model for your art project. Not to mention this man was handsome. Like a hollywood actor kind of handsome. You couldn't believe average looking you would ever stand a chance with this guy but fate had to prove you wrong again.Today was gonna be a great day. 

Just as you were about to press a kiss to his forehead his stunning blue eyes the shade of all the oceans gazed admiringly back at you.

"Good morning beautiful. " he greeted in his raspy morning voice.

"Hey handsome. " you replied. 

You pecked his lips and made a move to get out of bed before he reached out his startlingly cold metal hand and pulled you back under the warm covers by your waist.

"Honey, I've gotta get up." you tried to explain.

"But I'll get cold." He muffled into your neck.

This man was a dork, the dork of your life. You usually compared him to a puppy, always needy for your attention, but damn was he cute as hell.

"What do you even need to wake up for? You don't go to work." He countered.

"I've gotta cook breakfast and shower then get all my art stuff set up." You reply.

But all you got was a tighter grasp, a few seconds of a chocolate fondue warmth before he let go and turned his back to you. Leaving you cold and bare with only a tank top, shorts and no blanket. Man could he be a baby sometimes.

Your fluffy purple sock clad feet hit the cold hard wooden floor of your studio as you stood up off of the bed. You pulled a floral robe off one of your many modern wood chairs and slipped it on while you headed towards the kitchen. Then plucked a green pencil out of one of the the three cups on your desk filled with an array of writing utensils and painting tools then twirled your hair into a messy bun.

You entered the kitchen with a spin before you gathered your ingredients for the crepes you planned on cooking. It wasn't long before the familiar smell of your french heritage and sugar filled the air. Soon later, you had finished cooking a reasonable amount of authentic french crepes which you served on a handmade ceramic plate you had decorated to imitate the fiery sunset you watched disappear beyond the horizon on the evening of your honeymoon. You dusted the crepes with powdered sugar and layered it with a different tangy lemon sugar then left the crepes on the granite counter and skipped off to the bathroom to shower. After being married to this man for two years, you knew he would get up sooner or later and consume those crepes in a matter of seconds before self consciously leaving one on the plate for you out of pure guilt.

You turned the faucet on before taking the pencil out of your hair, undoing your robe and peeling off the little clothes you had on. You were about to turn the shower on when you changed your mind and decided to take a relaxing bubble bath. You opened the cabinet and pulled out a pastel pink bath bomb out of a bubble bath set that Bucky had gotten you for your last birthday. You set it into the water and watched it slowly turn the bath water light pink. Once the fizzing sound had quieted you dimmed the lights and slipped into the warm water sighing in contentment as your entire body was encased in a well earned warmth. You had not realized how tight your muscles were until you began to relax and started to feel a soreness settle into your body. The past week was pretty busy for you and Bucky. Your husband's old war friend, Steve, had his birthday celebrated courtesy of Tony Stark who threw a giant party to celebrate the soldier's special day, then you were called in to do several portraits for a couple's wedding. The following day a film production asked if you would be willing to paint a movie poster for them and being the nice person you are took the request and in consequence, exhausted yourself. You let your head rest against the back of the white vintage bathtub and your eyelids fell closed then you focused on your breathing.

In for four,

Hold for four,

Out for four,

Hold for four, 

Repeat.

The squared breathing routine had been the mantra that tumbled from your lips every nightmare you awoke from and every panic attack that wracked your body.

You were not always an artist that read poetry at every open mic in every coffee shop in town, nor the artist that sold paintings to galleries and buildings for a living. You used to be part of the military, you fought in wars overseas but one mission went wrong and you along with several others were taken hostage by the enemies who turned out to have been in partnership with Hydra. God knows why they wanted you but they did, and they did not hesitate to torture you, to push you past your breaking point both mentally and physically. After several months of Hydra's abusive treatment, the Avengers had managed to rescue you along with several other soldiers from your troop. After that incident you had to go through extensive physciatric treatments to help you with mental toll that those events took on you. You developed PTSD and a severe case of depression, luckily you seeked help at the right time otherwise your mental health would have done collateral damage to you and your family and friends.

You had never once considered returning to that sort of lifestyle. You were permanently scarred by the horrors you had experienced. 

"Sweetie, you okay?" A familiar voice shakes you from your recollective state.

"I'm fine." You answer as he enters the bathroom.

"Mind if I join you?" He asks with a cheeky smile.

"Not at all dear." You respond.

He removes his sweatpants and boxers before slipping into the not-so-warm water.

"Sweetheart, it's not even warm anymore. " he states as you start to drift back into your thoughts.

"Change the water then." You mumble as your eyes glaze over.

"Hey, what's goin' on darlin'?" He questions with furrowed eyebrows and a thick Brooklyn accent.

He pulls you into his lap and hugs you tight with one hand. Eloquently pulling the plug on the bathtub and turning the faucet on hot.

"I'm just remembering the military years." You say with a sob.

"Hey, hey Babe. It's alright, I'm here." Bucky assures you. "I've got you. Everything's gonna be okay. You're safe. Just let it out."

So you cried in the tub and Bucky cried with you because you two needed it. You were just two broken soldiers trying to recover from being touched by the evils in the world. You were two lucky souls united by the heavens, but you were also two lost souls with very dark pasts.

Bucky gathered your sobbing form, wrapped both of you into an oversized fluffy towel and brought you to the couch and just held you. The mere presence of him calmed you and you began to breathe normally.

"You okay doll?" He inquires.

"I am now." You say. "Thanks Buck." and you press your lips lovingly against his.

"Always." He replies and wipes the tears off your cheeks.

You two got dressed and headed to a local art gallery who had one of your art pieces on showcase. On your way there you visited your favourite coffee shop to get a cup of tea.

When you got to the gallery you were surprised to see a familiar duet there.

"You invited Steve and Sharon? " You asked not trying to mask your surprise. 

"I thought it would be good to have some friends tag along." He hesitated.

"No it's fine, I'm just surprised is all." You said trying not to get overly emotional. 

Bucky halted a few feet from the other couple and turned to you.

"If you want them to leave I can tell them to go back." He offers.

"No, no. It's not that." You start. "I just haven't felt so loved and safe in such a long time."

You don't know what's come over you but suddenly the feelings the past have caught up with you. You don't get these days very often but today was one of them and you knew you were lucky to have Bucky by your side all twenty four hours.

"Hey Steve!" Bucky greeted.

The two men began conversing and you and Sharon brokeinto hysterics over the childish ways of the two grown men.

The four of you entered the building and was greeted by the cool air conditioning.

"Hey (Y/N)." The curator greeted." Back with some friends I see."

The kind asian woman was the first person to confront you on your art.

You remembered, you were by the water sitting on the park bench facing your easel, painting a watercolour of the horizon, and blending the shades of water and green hues of trees. A lady dressed in a vibrant floral poodle skirt and embellished victorian sun hat came strutting up to you with kind eyes and a wise face and asked you if you were selling your artwork. You had not originally planned on doing so simply because you believed your artwork was not a piece worthy of being hung on a wall. Yet the woman was insistent she buy the painting when you offered the watercolor for free. She ended up buying it and handing you a calling card for an art gallery which became home for many masterpieces you had created over the years.

Originally you had begun drawing as an outlet to release thoughts and feelings you could not express through words. A year or so after the Hydra incident, you had been walking home from your physciatrist appointment when you spotted Steve Rogers sitting on the outdoor patio of a coffee shop across the street. You greeted him and thanked him for rescuing you and your fellow troop members. You told him to thank the other Avengers as well when he interrupted you mid sentence.

"I notice you go to the physciatrist a lot lately." He commented. 

You had shut your mouth immediately. To say the least you were ashamed of the fact you had to go ask for help just to deal with feelings, all because you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I come to this coffee shops often as i can because the view is great." He began, still sketching and speaking as though to himself. "I just wanted to tell you that you should try art to express yourself. " 

When he spoke the last sentence he actually looked up. That day you bought an acrylic paint set, brushes and some canvas have been painting since then.


End file.
